The Realm of Religion (Post #8 of 8)

In his article, Dr. Warner stated that in order to gain a more complete understanding of the concepts he discussed, “it is necessary to venture beyond the human sciences and philosophy into the domain of religion.” I agree completely. There are several key reasons he outlines for his viewpoint:

1. Because we succumb to temptation and sin (self betray), our personal view of what must be done to correct our course is not sufficient. Neither will the viewpoint of another person be sufficient for us, for they too have sinned. We need an independent witness who can reveal the truth regarding our situation and what must be done to escape it. That witness is the Holy Spirit, or Spirit of truth.
2. Even if the witness of the Spirit of truth enlightens us as to the path we must pursue to change our ways, our power alone is insufficient to fully change our natures. Only the redemptive power of a Savior can provide power sufficient for us to fully repent of our mistakes.
   
3. In order to more completely understand our roles as moral agents we must have revelation from a higher source to enlighten us. Our Creator, who bestowed the gift of agency upon us, is that source.

Only by viewing our natures in the realm of religion can we truly see what it is we are destined to become. Our destiny is to become as the Savior of mankind, Jesus Christ. We are to pattern our lives after His life of compassion and self-forgetfulness. By becoming a person of Christ-like nature, we can become saviors ourselves as we help others overcome their acts of self betrayal.

Conversely, when we refuse to allow the redeeming power of the Savior to change our natures, we reject his act of sacrifice on our behalf. Rather than accepting what is being offered freely to us through the sacrifice of the Lamb, we insist on making others our scapegoats. That is such a stark revelation that it bears repeating. When we reject the sacrifice of the One who willingly suffered for our sakes, we insist on transferring our suffering onto the heads of others. That we do this ought to be evidence enough of the dire need each of us has to be saved from our sins. There’s just no getting around that fact. But too often, in place of the cleansing, healing process that comes through true repentance made possible by the atonement, we seek a “bogus certification of worthiness”, as Dr. Warner calls it, that falsely purports to absolve us of responsibility for our sins.

Dr. Warner ends his article with this inspired insight: “Our ignoble desires are not ultimately derived from an ignoble nature, and our anxieties are not the result of being unable to make ourselves whatever we are striving to be. These desires and anxieties stem from our betrayal of what we really are, from our refusal to love, from an exercise of our agency that ties that agency in knots—in short, from sin. If we’re emotionally troubled, it is not because we were created to be that way but because we have betrayed, perverted, and denied what we were created to be. The condition of our liberation from our unwanted desires and anxieties is our responsiveness, in love, to what others need from us, and to the supreme loving act that makes our love possible.”

Amen to that.

How Do We Stay “Out of the Box” (And Help Others Do the Same)? [Post #7 of 8]

I have found that recognizing the temptation to betray myself and choosing not to betray myself require constant vigilance on my part. An awareness that I have been “in the box” for so much of my life and can easily walk back in during a moment of weakness must stay at the forefront of my mind. I’m hoping that learning to stay “out of the box” is like learning to shoot a basketball was for me—it gets easier with practice. Here are some tips that have helped me in my attempt to avoid self betrayal:

• Recognize the serious nature of self-betrayal. Dr. Warner describes it as “an active crusade of world defilement, conducted in the pretense that we are only doing the best we can to cope with the troubles being dealt to us, but which in fact we ourselves are promoting”.

• Consciously seek to serve others. Follow through on my feelings of compassion toward others.

• Work at creating an atmosphere free from accusing attitudes and evasion.

• Treat others as responsible for their emotional lives, including myself.

• If I still feel that “my parents (or friends, or ex-spouse, etc…) did it to me”, realize I am still colluding with them. What they did to me in the past is no longer the problem; what I am doing in the present is.

• When I find myself in an undesirable emotional state (such as harboring negative feelings toward someone, feeling like I’m helpless or out of control, sinking into despair, or just plain frustrated with life), I stop for a moment and think about why I’m there. I ask myself, “What prompting did I not follow through on that I should have?”. Sometimes the answer is readily apparent, but often finding the answer requires deeper introspection. If I can rectify my failure, I do so. If the opportunity to act has already passed, I commit to follow the prompting next time.

• Understand, as Dr. Warner said, that “if we’re emotionally troubled, it is not because we were created to be that way, but because we have betrayed, perverted, and denied what we were created to be.”

When we stop betraying ourselves it becomes easier for others around us to take stock of their own lives and commit to stop betraying themselves. We can seek to help them in loving ways that will give them the freedom to recognize their problems and overcome them. We can be willing to share their burdens because we no longer carry our own. We can exemplify the very essence of what we are striving to become.

We Must Free Ourselves (Post #6 of 8)

The key to breaking the bonds of self deception lies within us. We are the only ones who can get ourselves “out of the box”. But when we are seeing our experiences through the lenses of false morality, we tend to think we must do something to fix the problem. We try to change the people around us, try to boost our positive self image, try to have “honest” conversations with ourselves and others, and the list goes on. We fail to recognize, however, that our doing while self deceiving is only compounding the problem.

If there’s nothing we can do to fix things, then what is the key? It is to stop what we are doing. Stop betraying ourselves. Stop self deceiving. Stop blaming others. Give up feeling like we are always doing our best to “cope” with others because of their faults. Stop seeing other people as the cause of our problems. Drop our preoccupation with the false self image we have created.

Here’s a scenario from Dr. Warner’s book that illustrates our ability to overcome the temptation to self betray, deceive, and blame:

“My husband and I (Celia) are both writers. We have a baby. Shawn insists without sympathy that I keep the house clean, prepare the meals, stay well-dressed and appealing, and, most of all, keep the baby absolutely quiet during his writing hours. I write during the baby’s afternoon nap if I can, but usually late at night and early in the morning.

“If there is any noise from the baby, Shawn is not patient. He bitingly asks whether I understand the importance of what he is writing or its crucial place in his career or what it means for our future. Until recently tears would well up in my eyes in response to this harshness. Sometimes I would protest that he had no right to speak rudely to me. A quarrel would ensue. But more often I would suffer this sharpness silently and bitterly. I could not understand why I had to suffer when I had done nothing wrong.

“One morning I was doing an assignment on collusion writing a case. I left the bedroom door ajar and the baby toddled out. She was scattering some of Shawn’s pages when he saw her. He began to yell at me. Immediately I felt attacked; I began to burn with resentment and to search my mind for some way I could respond in kind. But all of a sudden I thought, ‘It’s a lie. What I am doing right now is a lie.’ I was doing the very thing that I was imputing to him! My rage just melted. I was filled with compassion toward Shawn for the first time in a long time. In fact, all I could think of in that moment was how I could help my husband.”

A vital factor in altering Celia’s behavior was her recognition of the temptation to betray herself. Because she recognized the temptation she was able to choose to follow her conscience instead of betraying it. As it was with Celia, so it is with us; we hold the key to freeing ourselves from the bondage of self deception.